On Sundays We Eat Chocolate Cake - Just Kidding We Eat Cake All The Time

Today I woke up and took a good shower. Y'know, one of those showers that you shave, exfoliate, deep clean and condition, do a face mask and lather yourself in cream? Yeah, I love those. And I feel better.

Not much happened today, just the shower and then work. I stopped on the way to work to get a small chocolate cake with chocolate buttercream frosting to bring into work because it's National Chocolate Cake Day. I don't know the validity of that statement, I just did it basically because my cute calendar told me that it was.

My friend date is tomorrow and I'm nervous. I'm not sure if they're considering it an actual date or not. They've dropped the "friend" part of "friend date" when we talk about it, and they've said before that they would date me. So I'm not sure? They've been through a lot in the past year though; breaking up with their partner, moving out of their family's home, their dad passed away, and then their new car got totaled on the highway. So I'd understand if they weren't really in a spot to date.

But really I'm more nervous about what to wear. Even though I have a ton of clothes, I feel like I've worn them all out, and whatever look I decide to go with is stale. I've decided to wake up early tomorrow to try to figure it out, and put more time into my beauty routine. I'm also concerned about the possible snowstorm and cold that will make travelling very difficult.

Not looking forward to that part.

You Don't Have To Eat Sushi That Has Raw Fish (But I Do)

In contrast to the past few days, today has been eventful. I woke up and went out to lunch and dinner with my friend. We got Japanese-style crepes and bubble tea for lunch, then sushi for dinner later on. In-between we browsed a mall and went to Michael's. I found some really cute planner accessories there that I'm super excited to use! :3

All of that filled up my time until I had to leave to go to work.

I'm kind of glad my friend and I had some time together today. Aside from, y'know, the fact that I spent time with a friend and not doing anything else. He got into a relationship, and this made me feel better that he wasn't going to just forget about me and prioritize a new relationship over a lasting friendship. That seems to be my luck; my friends get into relationships then just kind of put me on the back burner, or take me off the stove all-together (then somehow the friendship ending is my fault despite my efforts to save it).

We'll see how it goes from here on out.

I wonder if there's an immediate cute for eye fatigue?

Something that made me irritated: My friend showed up for dinner like an hour early so I didn't have as much time as I would've liked to get ready.

Something that made me happy: They gave me a ton of food at the restaurant and it will probably last as leftovers for my lunch at work. I can't wait to eat all this rice.

Lots Of Sleep Means Peaceful

Today was another relatively uneventful day. But I am in no position to complain. I know I mentioned oversleeping, but I haven't really had much of an opportunity to do so. I'll sleep way less than the required amount and be super tired and groggy when I wake up and do the bare minimum of my daily tasks. But because I had the day off today, I was able to sleep all I wanted. No obligations with people, no having to wake up for an alarm. Nothing!

Let me tell you that getting 10-ish hours of sleep feel so good (my record is 14 though).

Once I crawled out of my grave, I didn't do much aside from catch up on my shows, play some video games and pet my cat. I think the main highlight of my day aside from playing Overwatch with my friend was that I was able to make myself dinner, which I tried a new recipe.

Kabocha soup is really good! It's healthy, quick and easy to make. It has dairy, though, so lactose intolerants beware. And I don't just mean it's got some milk; it has a LOT of milk, some butter, and heavy whipping cream. Dairy is most of the recipe.

I feel a little guilty that I didn't do anything of substance today - especially because I needed to call the hair salon to make an appointment to get my hair done - so now I pick at my homework at least a little bit, and do a face mask until I find enough sleepiness in me to go back to bed (I don't think it will be long).

Something that made me angry: Two of my friends were playing Overwatch together and didn't invite me, even though one of them knew I had the day off.

Something that made me happy: Making and trying a new recipe was a success! I also got to play games with my friend, and she said she was excited for our friend date on Monday (hhh what will I wear??).

Uneventful Doesn't Mean Peaceful

My biological rhythm is causing me to oversleep and overeat. So today I slept in until the last possible minute, contemplated how badly I need my job, then forced myself to get out of bed. After a shower, I raced the snow and ice we're supposed to get overnight. Side-note; it is absolutely irritating that people find it acceptable to ride your tail when you're already going 75-80 in a 70 zone.

I got to work just fine, though. While having good conversation with good co-workers, we thought we got footage of the workplace ghost on the security camera television. Turns out it was just the blustery winds blowing a door open and closed, but it made for a good spook. Especially because whenever the door blew open, it looked like a ghostly figure stood in the doorway. I have a video of it, maybe I'll upload it later?

And then I just started to eat everything.

I typically have some snacks at my desk. That clearly wasn't enough. Despite the pseudo ghost wandering around outside I braved the cold to go up to the local gas station to buy more snacks. Now I'm stuffing my face full of snacks while I try to finish my homework so I can have a nice week off and have little to concern myself with over the weekend. I want to be able to sleep like I'm 6ft. under and not feel guilty about it.

Speaking of being 6ft. under...

I've been getting into the habit of turning off my alarm clock in my sleep. I don't mean I woke up, shut it off, and played the danger game of laying there with my eyes closed for a few more minutes. I mean I have no memory of shutting off my alarm, just that I wake up a few hours past when I wanted to, and my phone shows that the alarm that I know I set the night before is switched off. Oops. This has caused people that expect me to be somewhere to respond with concerned texts. I wonder what would happen if I actually die? Would people just keep sending me messages thinking that I've left them on read?

Something that made me happy: I ate a lot of chips.

Something that made me irritated: The kid that fetishizes bigger girls messaged me. He usually messages me every day, but he didn't yesterday. And here I thought I would have a multi-day streak of not getting his messages... Also, I ate a lot of chips.

A Silent Voice

This manga will be the bane of my existence. I have a friend date on Monday and I'll be seeing the movie, so I wanted to finish it before then. But like any actual person, I kept procrastinating whenever I had free time (see also; I chose to play video games instead), and now - was that Wednesday that just flew by?

Starting at OU and trying to manage my full-time job has proven to be stressful, but once I'm completely caught up and ahead of the game, I think I'll adapt better.

Something that made me angry today: Finding out that my best friend started a relationship with someone and didn't even mention his name until his new boy posted about it on facebook. I understand that not everyone needs to be super open about everything, but you would think that someone that considers you a best friend would at least tell you their name?

Something that made me happy: My cute bag that I ordered from Amazon came in early and I already stuffed it with my school crap. :3

The Tower (Think the Tarot Card)

"The man in the tower keeps a watchful eye on the distant horizon; he looks beyond the immediate present, beyond the practical needs and comforts of today, into the future. He looks over the roof tops, beneath which we sit in comfort by our own fireside, at the gathering storms on the horizon. And he listens not so much to the roar of traffic down below, as to the still small voices within himself, as he swings his telescope or bends to his microscope, seeking always to understand both the outer and the inner world of man and to signal to those down below the call of better things. These are the poets, the philosophers, the scientists, the thinkers whose observations and interpretations of life provide nourishment for the inner spirit of those who can learn to heed them." (Cook, Luella B. The English Journal, Vol. 48, No. 5 (May 1959) pp. 248)

Before you think I've gone all poetic and literature-elitist on you, let me give you some background info. Luella B. Cook picks at writing as a method of communication, and in order to describe the different ways we communicate and how we are supposed to communicate as individuals, she uses symbolism. Those who communicate mostly at the marketplace are those who are used to communicating socially and at face value. Those who communicate at the hearthstone are used to communicating with themselves and are more introspective. i. e. extroverts and introverts. Then she introduces the concept of the man in the tower; someone who seeks knowledge with the world in mind while in solitude, and then wishes to share the knowledge with the world. They are someone who can seemingly be an introvert and extrovert - an ambivert.

My only complaint is that witches and wizards aren't on that list.

 I adore this passage. For more reasons than one. I took it a little bit to heart because although I don't label myself an ambivert, and I lean a tad more to the introvert side, I know I can be an ambivert. I always thought that being an ambivert was weird. I thought that the love for socializing was a binary concept; you liked it or you didn't.

As I grow older that concept is changing. However, when Luella Cook related being an ambivert to types of people and positions that I think are so cool, that I resonate with, I think calling myself an ambivert may not be so bad.

Another reason this passage is so great is because it's simply written very well. I love Cook's voice when describing the man in the tower, like he's something to be honored. More often than not, people that are philosophers, poets, scientists, teachers, etc., go on doing a thankless job every day. They deserve this taste of a small masterpiece.

I'm Cute, But I'm Not A Goody-Two-Shoes

I recently read this article titled The Goody-Two-Shoes Nature. It addressed the fabled "write an hour every day" trick in order to improve your writing. I couldn't find who the author was, but there were some things they said that I agreed with, and some that I didn't...

They start off making good points that I found myself nodding my head in agreement with when I read them. You have to practice your writing, don't worry about making it a steadfast routine, you have to put more than time into your writing sessions. If you only put your time into it and do it dutifully - then you're only being a goody-two-shoes instead of being someone who is practicing their craft. And then they said "Be willing to put your whole life on the line when you sit down for writing practice."

I know the pen is mightier than the sword, but I didn't think I was going to battle to maybe lose my life whenever I sat down in my little corner desk and journaled, or wrote part of a chapter in my notebook. Is the FBI watching me there, too? That statement sort of put a bad taste in my mouth and I thought that the rest of the small passage would be just as dramatic. To my delight, the author took 3 pages to apply general life advice to writing - the kind that should be common sense but that no one would pay attention to anyway.

In sum, they want you to be flexible, don't hold steadfast to rules. Be honest with yourself and if your heart isn't in it, then don't try to force yourself to sit down and write, the only way you'll improve is if you put your mind and motivation into your words. If you feel like you're stuck then assess your situation - what you're happy and unhappy with - and make any necessary changes.

How pure. Makes me feel warm and content. But the author isn't wrong. However, they it kinda seemed like they were tearing down the rule from the start. They stressed flexibility - and I believe in that too - so I think that a good compromise would be to try to write every day, but don't be concerned about it when you can't.

From experience, I would go through cycles of writing like a mad scientist to not writing for months, and in those months I would feel tremendously guilty for leaving gaps in my journal dates, updates in chapters of a story I'm writing, or unfinished projects.

But if I forced myself to sit down and write, then only my worst work would come out of me because I put myself in a vicious cycle of resentment. And then I hated that I put myself in that situation. It took me a long time to sort of come to terms with the fact that I needed breaks every once in a while. My mental state isn't always in prime condition to write, sometimes life gets too busy - like when I'm in school - and I don't realistically have the time, and sometimes I would just really rather be fat and happy in my bed with Chinese food bingeing a show. I needed to be okay with that. After all, I could find other ways to practice without actually writing.

That's something I'm surprised the author of Goody-Two-Shoes didn't mention; there's more than one way to practice writing other than actually writing. What about reading? One can read and practice both the logistics as writing as well as the creativity of it. Writing something of the horror genre? Read a Stephen King book. Want to solidify your skills? Read a story some writer posted online and make edits either as you go or print it out and mark it up with a red pen (it's actually one of my favorite pastimes right next to shutting my alarm off in my sleep). I think reading is an important process to writing - even more important than the act of writing. You can gain so much from reading; reading is a writer's lecture hall. In order to be able to know what you're writing, you have to be able to read and know that what you're writing is comprehensible and good. 

So write. Write as often as you can. Then take a break and read for a while. Read a book, read online, read your sister's diary. Then come back when you're ready, write and see what you've learned by re-reading what you've written. Just don't be a goody-two-shoes.